I nearly “mum shamed” myself!
Mum shame definition: Criticizing or degrading a mother for her parenting choices because they differ from the choices the shamer would make (Urban Dictionary, 2018).
So a few weeks ago I decided to give my baby formula for the first time after exclusively breastfeeding for 16 weeks. I will keep it real with you I felt so guilty at first, I was toing and froing about whether I should do it or not. After reading everywhere and being advised that “breast is best” I even felt bad considering moving him on to formula. It’s almost like I was conditioned to thinking formula was bad for him, why give it to him when I can breastfeed? But I will tell you why I did…
1. First of all while I LOVE breastfeeding, IT IS LONGGGGGG!!! And my baby literally feeds every 2 hours for 20/30 minutes even at four months old. He is actually such a hungry baby – which brings me on to my next point.
2. I honestly feel like he just wasn’t full enough with the breast milk. Yes breast is best but it’s just so light and I suspect that’s why he wanted a feed every two hours. Still!! When he’s not a newborn!!!
3. While I did express at least once a day, that was long too! Since he was feeding so much by the time I go to pump there’s hardly anything left so building a stash of milk up for when I wanted to go out and leave him with dad to look after was such a myth sometimes. So with all that in mind, I decided to try him with formula and honestly I can say it’s the best decision I’ve made so far! I feel 1000% more relived!!! I still offer him breast a few times a day and during his night time feeds so he gets the benefits of breast feeding and for that vital bonding and skin to skin time.
No mother should EVER feel guilty for the decision they make regarding feeding (bread or formula) their babies. You know your child and their feeding habits best. So do what works for you both and don’t feel pressured by anyone to do something you don’t want to.
Advice is just that, advice. You don’t have to listen to it. And you definitely shouldn’t mum shame yourself like I did, feeling guilty for giving my baby formula when in fact he loves it and seems happier and fuller after each feed. Let’s be real, it’s not about you! It’s about your baby and doing what is best for them. Sometimes breast feeding isn’t easy and you must always remember there are other ways of being a wonderful mum!
Until next time x